Dear Young Married Gal,
So now you have found your "knight in shining armor" and you have
finally reached your goal of being married! From now on, life will be
all love and bliss! Right?! Wrong!
Staying married is a full time calling in itself. Hopefully and
prayerfully you will both grow and mature together. Let me explain it
this way.
 |
| LeRoy and Evelyn on their wedding day, December 1,1951 |
I have been married once to 4 different men. Now don't misread this. He
was the same guy - same name, however when I married him he was employed
as a printer. Two years later God called him to be a Pastor. Later he
was ordained an Elder and lastly, a Missionary to Haiti.
I met this wonderful man where he was employed at Church World Service
Center. Yes, I thought he was absolutely perfect! And I am certain
he thought the same of me!
Every other weekend he would hitchhike (he
didn't have a car) 100 miles to my home in Pennsylvania to see me. We
did not like seeing one another so infrequently so eventually he moved
to a city closer by. We were married after only 6 months of knowing one
another, so we had a lot to learn. We both soon realized neither one
of us was "perfect", however , we were perfect for each other, but we
had a lot to learn.
Some of the things I learned were learned through experience, others by
observing friends, and still others, by reading some good authors. And
yes, if I could do it over again, I would marry the same guy in a
heartbeat, but I certainly would do some things differently.
Hopefully a few of what I learned will be helpful to you:
1. A successful Christian marriage must flow from our belief in God. Our
confidence and trust must be in Him with deep roots in God's Word.
2. Love your husband and children unconditionally!
3. Be self controlled.
4. Have a quiet and gentle spirit.
5. Stay pure. If you feel you are drifting apart make every effort to get
back the closeness you once felt. DO NOT turn to another man for
comfort and to meet your needs. Find counsel with your Pastor, his
wife, a Christian counselor or an older woman.
6. Manage your home, however, take time to play with and enjoy your children and your husband.
( hint: Even if dinner is not ready when he gets home from work, at least have the table set so he will know it is on the way.)
7. Sit at the table and have dinner as a family. Not in front of the TV.
Talk about how each family member's day went. Cell phones at meals are
NOT allowed at meals whether eating at home or out. We did not have to
deal with this since there were no cell phones when our children were
growing up, however, I feel Very strongly about this.
8. Be submissive and kind to your husband. Humility is required for
submissiveness. Every morning ask yourself what you can do today to make
your husband happy.
9. Set aside time for daily family devotions. We did ours around the table after dinner the evening.
10. Praise and encourage your husband and children. The more I Died to self the more life I could give to my family.
Well, my dear young wife, this should keep you quite busy. These
thoughts are not in any specific order. I just typed as God brought
them to my mind.
One last and most important thought:
CHERISH EVERY DAY YOU HAVE TOGETHER. LIFE IS SHORT.
LeRoy and I had 54 years together. Sounds like a long time? He has gone
on to Glory 10 Years ago. Not a day goes by that I do not think of him
and miss him.
May God Bless your marriage Abundantly,
Evelyn
P.S. Another thought. I took it for granted but I dare not do that. Make
certain YOU and YOUR FAMILY attend church. Take your kids! Don't send
them!
Evelyn Dick is an "extended family" member of LifeGate Church.
She currently resides in Goshen, IN in an apartment she lovingly nicknamed the "dungeon." When Evelyn isn't reading about Haitian history, missionary adventures, or the Amish life, she can be found spending time with her four children, 13 grand children, and 15 great-grand kids. She is also currently working on a memoirs project about LeRoy's and her life in Haiti as missionaries.